This article on, Comparison – A Deadly evil comes as continuity to the article that appeared on this blog- Motivation – Who will bell this cat?? One of the article response from a reader was that, the concept of “Win against yourself”, or in simple words, don’t compare with others is debatable. How can we better ourselves or come 1st if we do not compare?? She asked. Here we go…..
The very basic lesson in life to be mastered is to discover our individuality. When the pseudo personality mask (gifted by our society) is broken, you will come face to face with your individuality.
Individuality means your uniqueness. The very uniqueness that cannot be compared with anybody else. Your incomparable uniqueness: that is individuality. Individuality is beautiful, that is what existence has gifted you. Ego is comparison. Ego is your invention. Existence or God has not given you any ego; he has certainly given you individuality.
The very thought of comparison comes from your EGO. When you think yourself more intelligent than the other, when you think yourself more rich, more religious, more beautiful, more superior than the other. Then you are bringing ego in. The moment you compare yourself with somebody, the conclusion that comes out of the comparison is ego. If you stop comparing then you are present here, living here, celebrating here and now you are tremendously beautiful and unique. All superiority or inferiority complexes, all anxiety of where I am, where I stand, who is above me and who is below me, are ego problems. The superior person suffers so does the inferior man. Everyone suffers, because even the superiormost cannot have a state where he can be satisfied.
No 1, Standards, best, benchmark – all these words are human discoveries. All standards are relative, all No 1 are non permanent. People play inhuman tricks to reach the No 1 spot, ultimately to realize that No 1 is arbitrary, non permanent. All these are simply misery creating jargons. We all are extraordinary and we make our own standard. So there is no use comparing us with others. But we can definitely adapt the good qualities and appreciate others who are having those qualities.
Infinite numbers of parents compare their own kids with others, in their daily life. They compare their kids with their neighbour’s kids, relative’s kids or even their own elder or younger ones. Every kid is extra ordinary in his own way. That creation is unique, incomparable. One kid might be good at studies, the other would excel in sports or arts or any other field. But parents end up comparing kids on the scores they bring from their schools. Uncountable parents have enforced their wishes, their fancies on their kids and messed up the child’s growth, potential or even their life. The parents EGO reign supreme.
Benito Mussolini was not very tall, just 5Ft and 1 Inch. He remained disturbed for his whole life. Mussolini compared him with his taller companions. Now, nothing is wrong in being 5Ft 1″. What is wrong in being 5Ft 1″? One day he was trying to remove a book from a shelf and the book was at a height is assistant offered help saying, “Sir, I am higher than you, I will get the book out”. He said, “Stop! Never utter such a word. You are taller, not higher.” He was very conscious about it — “Higher? Say you are taller; don’t say higher!” Now, in this comparison he missed LIFE, an opportunity to LIVE and Celebrate life.
I personally know of a girl who was dark skinned by birth and was a serious case of inferiority complex when she reached her teens. She was born in a very rich family. However this colour comparison with fair cousins, friends and colleagues made her literally hate herself. When I met her with her parents explaining this illness, I simply asked her directly, what is wrong in being dark?? I looked at her, she was a beautiful girl, a unique girl, but unnecessarily in anxiety, in deep anguish, suffering. The complex was so deep rooted that she could not believe that anybody could love her, because she is a little dark.
Now this comparison created so much of a trouble that she may missed living her whole life. Because of comparison she could not love. She could not trust anybody. If somebody came and said to her, “I love you,” she would distrust them. She could not love herself, how could YOU love her? Impossible. You would have some other intention, you must have some other idea behind it, she would assume that you may be interested only in physical pleasure, or you may be interested in her money, but you cannot love her. She remained loveless. And when there was no love coming, her idea became more and more fixated: I am ugly. She is not ugly at all. In fact, I have never seen an ugly person in my life.
How can a person be ugly? Have you ever seen any ugly crow? Impossible! Have you ever seen an ugly tree? Impossible. All is beautiful as it is… but with human beings you bring comparison, and immediately trouble starts.
Krishna was dark, born dark. The name Krishna means – The dark one. But his attitude and divine confidence was enough to attract the gopi’s of is time. Krishna was tremendously beautiful with his knowledge, his confidence, his leadership skills , strategizing abilities and divine powers, that he is regarded as an esteemed god today.
The key to our success in life is to identify our strengths, improvising on our skills, creating opportunities and then taking advantage of it. It’s really that simple.
To summarize, to be successful in life is to be in tremendous love with yourself. Loving your skills, enjoying what you do, improvising every time you repeat tasks and appreciating your uniqueness. Setting self goals, attaining them time and again. In short running your own race, winning with a better score every time.